If you’ve ever had the privilege of raising or caring for a child, you would have had the opportunity to console and support that tinder soul for one reason or another.  Whether you helped dissuade a child’s fears with a promise or kind word, or managed their disappointment with logic or distraction, you instinctively practiced the management of emotion.  Consider that you could not remove the emotion of anger or fear from the child.  You were not able to reach into their mind and remove the thoughts that plagued the youngster.  But you were able to offer words of comfort, offer a change in activity – be it getting a snack or watching a favorite movie, you successfully reduced or helped remove the impact of the unwanted emotion with well-placed distraction.


Our mind is like a child, and our ability to cultivate it will determine our overall success.  We must pre-load love, care, and discipline into the mind before a crisis, so that it’s easier to employ self-talk and negotiate better reaction and recovery.  We must feed the mind scriptural encouragement, promises, and affirmations so that the overflow of those concepts can guide the mind back to empowerment when thoughts take a turn toward the negative.  Self-talk is necessary, especially for entrepreneurs, because unlike a corporate, teamwork structure, business owners often face trouble as lone soldiers.  Sometimes you are the only one in the room, and if there will being any pep talks, you will be the speaker and audience.  Thus, it is critically important that you learn to speak tender words of encouragement to yourself on a regular basis. It will serve as practice for the times that you need to apply that service to a frustrated, demoralized disposition.


You must also hone the skill of distraction.  Sometimes the disappointment or foreboding is too intense, and self-talk is not readily tolerated.  In those moments, you will need to use distractions like an emergency intravenous (IV) placed in the arm to replenish liquids in the body.  Have your favorite, positive films at the ready.  Watch them and laugh with a healthy snack and a word puzzle on your lap.  Have a team of business coaches poised for a quick troubleshooting call.  Go swimming at the gym or play basketball with your teenage son.  Certainly, his laughter when watching you attempt to make a three-pointer will be a bankable, albeit annoying, distraction.


Be certain to use empowered thoughts and positive, healthy distractions.  Doing something that’s going to cause you to gain weight, or miss an important appointment is counterproductive.  Be aware of the tendency to self-sabotage in response to anger and frustration.  Sometimes, if we can’t hurt and wreak mayhem outwardly, we create destruction inwardly.  Resist the rookie mistake of using negative, childish, gossip-like thoughts to help combat other negative thoughts.  Calling a nemesis names or berating them in your mind will have a temporary release but will also cultivate a standard of aggressive, vengeful pettiness that is bound to show up in a way that will eventually cost you something.  So for the sake of the business and for your personal edification, learn to feel the burn of disappointment and find the kindest, most honorable way to lift some or all of that feeling.  When your thoughts go low, take them high.


Lastly, understand that mindset is more important than skill or competence.  You can get more done with the right attitude and a little determination, than having superior skill but an offensive disposition.   While self-talk is a lot easier said than done, if you dig in and refuse the comfort of self-pity, you will be the voice of reason and the means of distraction necessary to overcome in every area of life and business.

For more information, read Chapter 8 of my new eBook: 

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